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Posts tagged ‘family’

you’re taking your gayness a little too far

0_o how exactly can you do that? If you’re gay, you’re gay! You can’t be too gay or not gay enough. Anyways! I’m a lesbian who enjoys dressing in men’s attire. I guess you can label me stud, stem, or androgynous. Doesn’t matter. I’ve always liked dressing this way ever since I was a kid. The only time I’d wear  a dress or skirt was on picture days, family occasions, etc. My mom had my brother and I dressed as twins on a daily basis, so… (trust, he wasn’t walking around looking like a girl). As I got older, my mom started telling me what to wear. She’d pick out my clothes to make sure I would look girly for the day ahead. I hated it! I wore fitted jeans, maybe some Valor sweats but sneakers and construction boots (Timberlands), that was all me. Semi-feminine/tomboy. My mom began throwing out my clothes and buying me new, more feminine clothes and shoes which left me no other choice but to wear what she wanted me to. I began to like it too. Once I started making my own money and had my own place with my own rules, I bought clothes that make me feel good and comfortable. I don’t want to be a boy or a man, I just like what I like.

Why is it that any wrong doing against me, remain justified because of my sexuality?

I’ve notices that ever since I came out of the closet that people acted differently towards me. My family treated me the same until they got upset with me about something. We would never be able to talk about the issue though. All of a sudden, I’m a ‘Dyke!’. It would come out of nowhere when they’d say it to me. I’ve never been called a ‘dyke’ by anyone, not to my face anyway. It really hurts having your family call you that especially after they seemed okay about your lifestyle. Then they have kids and they try to keep you away from them. Never really having a real reason why. But then I hear, ‘it’s not right that you’re gay and I don’t want my kid around you if your going to be gay.’. So I can’t be around some of my family because of the fact. True, that’s their kids and they can have them around whoever they want. But people are who they are, they aren’t going to change for the comfort of others. Me, being a lesbian or should I say ‘dyke for life’ (might as well wear the homophobic slur from a family member proudly), hasn’t hurt me in a mentally, emotionally, or even physically. It’s the fuckers that were apart of my life that I trusted and confided in, that hurt me. That,  ‘blood is thicker than water’ shit is pure bull. People that understand you and love you regardless whether they are family or not treat you better than assholes that  are so-called  family of yours. Everything can not be justified just because the wrong doing was against a gay man or lesbian woman. People need to get over themselves.